Waiting

Today I'm still waiting for the paycheck that was issued to me on January 14th but still hasn't reached my hands. I'm quite upset about it because uncertainty and money don't add up to reasonable decisions. Its one of those checks you really need too. So as you can imagine I'm angry enough to get real rude (to say the least). You know how you can think about a check all day long. Anyway it got me thinking about expectations. Like they EXPECT me to be to work on the first day on time and looking all spiffy. But I can't EXPECT to get paid on time. They EXPECT me be serious and dedicated to my work. But I can't EXPECT them to not play with my money. All I know is anything They EXPECTING too much as long I'm EXPECTING my check.

I wanted to this kick this blog back off with a really deep post but this check has been on my mind for the past five days. Spend all day thinking about cracking the mailbox open, and I get home and it's empty. Don't ever let anybody put your money in the mail. I never been a fan of several strangers touching my money before I do. Direct Deposit, Paypal, Cut a check or cold hard cash is allllllll good with me. But don't put no money in the mail because casually telling me when the money I worked for is in a place I can't get to until someone else decides to deliver it to me.......Is a recipe for pissing me off.

And ever time I find myself talking about it, It turns into threats. Cause you can't talk about missing money and not wanna whoop some ass. Everybody know that nigga that will fight over fifty cents (fyi 3 out of every 4 black folks is that person). You know when you save that last piece of cake you get home and somebody else eating it! Thats right! you wanna Bust that ASS... Same thing when money come up funny....

But real talk I need to calm down. Its really sad to think I won't let people make me angry because i don't want them to control me. But I'll easily succumb to the temptations of money.

The true lesson in all of this is, If you want your patience to really be tested Let somebody fuck with your money. Money comes and goes and learning to accept its nature provides you with the patience to endure in it's absence and the strength to focus in it's presence.

Patient but I still don't play about my money