Lovely Day

I had a few of my younger friends ask me what was it like to be in love. Like how do you know. Defining how it feels to be in love is difficult with words so I could only use experiences. The first story I used to tell was about my first love and how I bought some cookies randomly at burger king one day. I remember when I was rummaging through the bag for my whopper I ran across some chocolate chip cookies. I saw the cookies and immediately realized that I didn't buy the cookies for me, I had bought them for my girl without even thinking about it. I said this must be love.

After my previous relationship though I experienced the most pure revelation that I was in love. I'm a person who is generally in a stoic mood in the morning. I'm not really a morning person at all. At this particular moment in my life mornings were terrible. I was having headaches and waking up in very depressed moods. When my girl would stay with me though and I woke up in the morning to see her laying there sleeping peacefully, feelings of comfort and purpose would wash over me. The day didn't seem as daunting. Despite how miserable I was in the position I was in at that moment in life, the love I felt for her in those moments while she slept gave me peace.

I think those are the tale-tale moments when your in love with someone. When you look at them and it brings peace to your heart and mind. Because they are with you, your soul is at ease. Honestly even though that relationship has passed I still think back to those moments when I would gaze at her before I would struggle to roll out the bed. I still feel that peace. Moments like that remind me of how powerful the bond between two people can be.

So if your ever wondering if your really in love. The answer lies in the quiet moments.

Being In Love

Some of my random thoughts on love:

It's interesting because most my peers at this point in life are so anti falling in love. The ironic thing most of my peers are in love. It doesn't take being involved romantically with someone to be in love. You can fall in love with music, your job, writing, food etc. Love is a bond, a connection, an unquenchable thirst to be involved with whatever the object of your desire is. It still leads to the same actions. The difference is it's a lot easier for a significant other to break your heart than music.

I truly believe as we live our lives that we are motivated by the things we love. We'll work a 9-5 to pay the bills but we'll spend all night in the studio doing what we love.

The thing about loving another person is that is people are unpredictable to an extent. And once love for another person starts to leak into your motivations, it can change the course of your life if your not careful.

But being in love with anything changes you. You see what you love in everything you do. Every situation in my life I can think of a song that goes with it. My love for music infiltrates every aspect of my life. Music is always playing in my apartment and it matches my mood as well. Music lives in my soul.

That's what being in love is. Allowing something or someone to live in your soul. And once it's in your soul, its with you everywhere you go. Sometimes that love can haunt you if you didn't do right by it. Sometimes that love can be the one light in your soul when all the chips are down. It just depends on how u deal with it.

I have a lot of love in my soul. And lately I've been adjusting to living with it. Because everyday I would love to wake up and perform comedy. But I can't, not yet. And that eats me up because I love comedy. But I had to learn to live with the pain, and use it to motivate me to one day do what I love everyday. We can't always have what we love, so we have to cherish it when we have it and work hard to earn the moments when we can be with our love again. Rather its a something or someone, Never give up on what you love.

One of the true indicators of true and unconditional love is patience. And when you really think about it, time and patience are always the best solutions when dealing with the frustrations love can present. Love takes time, it's like life in that's a marathon. It's something that requires endurance. So pace yourself with what you love. The reward is in what you put into it, because honestly your just investing in yourself.

Slim Khalifa

Now if you've met then there are three things you immediately notice about my appearance.

1. I'm Skinny
2. I look very young
3. My feet

Now I like to think of these three factors as the perfect formula for man that knows his way around the sheets. But since no one can admit to that when they first meet me, we have to start with the jokes. And Everybody got Skinny jokes. Lord forbid I make a fat joke though. I like being skinny though. Some women claim they a dude with some meat on they bones. But trust me, they just like MEAT! The rest is extra.

One thing about women is that they may know what they like, but something new can always sweep them off their feet. I'm glad you know what you like, but I got something new for you.

Word I also have several face look a likes or dopplegangers. Slim from 112, Wiz Khalifa, Rapheal Sadiiq. (All skinny well not Slim so much anymore) But yeah so thanks to my homeboi we've come up with a nickname to cover all the look a like bases! Slim Khalifa! I mentioned it few times and it stuck with people. I think its funny. So Imma ride with it.

Last night I got the $hit roasted out my ass. It was really a slaughter. I was in the clouds and these two chicks found out I was comedian and it was over from that point. I love it when people roast me, cause I'm cocky and no matter what a female says bout my big feet, slim frame, jumbo lips or young looks that mean you really just notice it and your imagination is already working out the freaky possibilities.

I love a woman that can make me laugh. Especially at my expense. You know some chicks make jokes for attention but their so insecure I fire back and break they whole self esteem down. I like the chicks that fire right back.

So if you take anything away from post Slim Khalifa. Bedroom Bully. And I rock Smedium shirts with size 12.5 shoe!

Beef It Up

Due to the fact we don't have any furniture in our living room. I'm often in the middle of it dancing. If you know me and my ole two step, get on good foot, walk it out ass, you know I'm always dancing. Anyway since I been back in the Atlanta I done came up on a new favorite dance. So here's the deal if you are reading this post...You gotta check out the youtube video and you gotta beef it up. Especially if you read all these deep ass posts I've been posting You should treat yourself to good Beef it up session. The best part is you got a new dance for the club and the shower. Especially my midwest people I know yall ain't up on this yet. Don't say I ain't never show you thing or two.

Or Maybe I'm Just Growing Up

Lately in my head i've been struggling with a lot of questions about what I'm doing with my life. I've been trying to develop short term and long term goals to shape and structure my ambition. One of my recent problems was I reacting to life. Living from moment to moment without any true personal goals. Eventually I had to stop and ask myself who and what I was living for. I have the opportunity to do so much more in life if I just focus. But as I've been thinking throgh all this stuff I've realized alot about how different my life is from I last felt I had a firm grasp on my future which was when I was 18 and heading to college. So here are the main struggles i've been facing.

The things I used to do just don't entertain me like they used to. Things have gotten old to me in a lot ways. I struggle to find the same satisfaction in activities that used to take so much of my time. Honestly I don't find inspiration in same places either. Have I changed? I have to ask myself. Or maybe I'm just growing up.

All my relationships have gotten more complicated. Nothing has a simple answer anymore. My actions results in a variety of consequences. My goals are not as easy to attain. Many times Its not even clear to me what I want.

It used to be that I could I easily find the solutions to the challenges I face in life, but lately I feel like all my solutions just lead to another problem. Especially with my relationships with people. I can give my friends the best advice in the world. But when it comes to my life I have no clue what to do.

My dad told me that I really need to think about rather I'm setting unrealistic goals for myself at this point in my life. And the truth is, I am. I've accomplished a lot but haven't really felt any sense of satisfaction for a while now. It's just my dreams are so big. And sometimes I can't sleep at night because of all the ideas swirling around in my head. My spirit is thirsty for something i'm not providing. The potential is there but not the inspiration. Is that a part of growing up. A constant hunger in your soul for something more. My uncle said my mind is sound but my spirit is wondering right now. It really stuck with me because I used to be so passionate about everything. Yet lately I don't feel that same passion. I'm just constantly In Search of. But I guess I have to realize I'll never be that 18 year old again. I just want that fire back in my soul.

To Be Continued

Whats Good! Life has taken a new direction for our young hero. I've recently relocated to a new city and i'm starting a new job soon. It's crazy thinking how just a month ago I was struggling to decide when to put the pieces in motion to make this move. I literally make moves and when I put my mind to something it happens plain and simple. But enough about that because it's the past and a past i'm eagerly anticipating leaving behind me as soon as possible. I don't advocate running from your problems but sometimes you have to pack all yo *hit and get out of a situation if it isn't working for you.

So as my life takes this new direction I'm hoping I become more consistent with my blogging. Writing is going to be key to me achieving my goals so I have to become really consistent with my writing.

I wasn't intending on sharing a fully thought out post due to the hectic nature of my life at the moment. But as things settle so will my thoughts. I've been doing a lot of traveling lately so I'm taking these days before I start work to truly settle into Atlanta. It takes a while to adjust to a new home and everything. Stories to follow soon.........