Slim Khalifa

Now if you've met then there are three things you immediately notice about my appearance.

1. I'm Skinny
2. I look very young
3. My feet

Now I like to think of these three factors as the perfect formula for man that knows his way around the sheets. But since no one can admit to that when they first meet me, we have to start with the jokes. And Everybody got Skinny jokes. Lord forbid I make a fat joke though. I like being skinny though. Some women claim they a dude with some meat on they bones. But trust me, they just like MEAT! The rest is extra.

One thing about women is that they may know what they like, but something new can always sweep them off their feet. I'm glad you know what you like, but I got something new for you.

Word I also have several face look a likes or dopplegangers. Slim from 112, Wiz Khalifa, Rapheal Sadiiq. (All skinny well not Slim so much anymore) But yeah so thanks to my homeboi we've come up with a nickname to cover all the look a like bases! Slim Khalifa! I mentioned it few times and it stuck with people. I think its funny. So Imma ride with it.

Last night I got the $hit roasted out my ass. It was really a slaughter. I was in the clouds and these two chicks found out I was comedian and it was over from that point. I love it when people roast me, cause I'm cocky and no matter what a female says bout my big feet, slim frame, jumbo lips or young looks that mean you really just notice it and your imagination is already working out the freaky possibilities.

I love a woman that can make me laugh. Especially at my expense. You know some chicks make jokes for attention but their so insecure I fire back and break they whole self esteem down. I like the chicks that fire right back.

So if you take anything away from post Slim Khalifa. Bedroom Bully. And I rock Smedium shirts with size 12.5 shoe!

Beef It Up

Due to the fact we don't have any furniture in our living room. I'm often in the middle of it dancing. If you know me and my ole two step, get on good foot, walk it out ass, you know I'm always dancing. Anyway since I been back in the Atlanta I done came up on a new favorite dance. So here's the deal if you are reading this post...You gotta check out the youtube video and you gotta beef it up. Especially if you read all these deep ass posts I've been posting You should treat yourself to good Beef it up session. The best part is you got a new dance for the club and the shower. Especially my midwest people I know yall ain't up on this yet. Don't say I ain't never show you thing or two.

Or Maybe I'm Just Growing Up

Lately in my head i've been struggling with a lot of questions about what I'm doing with my life. I've been trying to develop short term and long term goals to shape and structure my ambition. One of my recent problems was I reacting to life. Living from moment to moment without any true personal goals. Eventually I had to stop and ask myself who and what I was living for. I have the opportunity to do so much more in life if I just focus. But as I've been thinking throgh all this stuff I've realized alot about how different my life is from I last felt I had a firm grasp on my future which was when I was 18 and heading to college. So here are the main struggles i've been facing.

The things I used to do just don't entertain me like they used to. Things have gotten old to me in a lot ways. I struggle to find the same satisfaction in activities that used to take so much of my time. Honestly I don't find inspiration in same places either. Have I changed? I have to ask myself. Or maybe I'm just growing up.

All my relationships have gotten more complicated. Nothing has a simple answer anymore. My actions results in a variety of consequences. My goals are not as easy to attain. Many times Its not even clear to me what I want.

It used to be that I could I easily find the solutions to the challenges I face in life, but lately I feel like all my solutions just lead to another problem. Especially with my relationships with people. I can give my friends the best advice in the world. But when it comes to my life I have no clue what to do.

My dad told me that I really need to think about rather I'm setting unrealistic goals for myself at this point in my life. And the truth is, I am. I've accomplished a lot but haven't really felt any sense of satisfaction for a while now. It's just my dreams are so big. And sometimes I can't sleep at night because of all the ideas swirling around in my head. My spirit is thirsty for something i'm not providing. The potential is there but not the inspiration. Is that a part of growing up. A constant hunger in your soul for something more. My uncle said my mind is sound but my spirit is wondering right now. It really stuck with me because I used to be so passionate about everything. Yet lately I don't feel that same passion. I'm just constantly In Search of. But I guess I have to realize I'll never be that 18 year old again. I just want that fire back in my soul.

To Be Continued

Whats Good! Life has taken a new direction for our young hero. I've recently relocated to a new city and i'm starting a new job soon. It's crazy thinking how just a month ago I was struggling to decide when to put the pieces in motion to make this move. I literally make moves and when I put my mind to something it happens plain and simple. But enough about that because it's the past and a past i'm eagerly anticipating leaving behind me as soon as possible. I don't advocate running from your problems but sometimes you have to pack all yo *hit and get out of a situation if it isn't working for you.

So as my life takes this new direction I'm hoping I become more consistent with my blogging. Writing is going to be key to me achieving my goals so I have to become really consistent with my writing.

I wasn't intending on sharing a fully thought out post due to the hectic nature of my life at the moment. But as things settle so will my thoughts. I've been doing a lot of traveling lately so I'm taking these days before I start work to truly settle into Atlanta. It takes a while to adjust to a new home and everything. Stories to follow soon.........

Sincerely Chicago

In my college entrance essay I remember writing that "Northwestern was the place I envisioned myself growing into the adult I wanted to be." What I really meant was that Chicago was the place I wanted to be when I became an adult. I really didn't know all that meant or everything that encompassed but I meant it.
5 years later I'm spending my last day in Chicago and I can't help but acknowledge despite my struggles with Chicago, It has made me into the man I am today. The winters were harsh but they made me stronger mentally. The cops harrassed me but It forced me to be more clever than them. The locals had attitudes but I learned how to earn their respect. The city was more expensive but I learned how to manage wealth. The lifestyle was fast but I kept pace and made moves. With every negative experience in Chicago I managed to make an opportunity for growth. Growth into the man I am today.
The first three months here I used to wake up and be so excited to be away from Georgia. Then I spent the next four years anticipating the day I could return home. Now that I sit here less than 24 hours from my return, its a bittersweet feeling that washes over me. I've built a life out here and now I'm leaving it all behind. As an adult Chicago has been all that I've known. I have to acknowledge the huge part it's played in my life. I'm fond of this city regardless of how I liked living here. I hope it continues to prosper and maybe one day one of my children can venture out here to find the knowledge and experience that will mold them into the adults they want to be.
I probably have had enough Chicago for one lifetime but I will miss my life here. I'll miss the woman I fell in love with. I'll miss my friends. I'll miss cruising by Lake Michighan on Lake Shore. I'll miss the skyline and all the parks downtown and throughout the city. I'll miss the 3 24 mexican spots in my neighborhood and all the great food. But now that i'm the man I envisioned 5 years ago, its time to pursue the dreams I had for that man as well. Thanks Chicago for making me into that man.

Ol Skool Music

Now I'm not writing this to bash the new school of music or anything. I love music in every form and genre, even country. But recently I've been going through some heartbreak and the music I've really connected with and that has eased my pain has been Ol skool music. Which got me thinking why? Shouldn't I be able to look towards my contemporary peers in R&B and vibe with them during this time. It turns out I can't. I mean there are few artists I can listen to Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Anthony David. But the number is few and far between. It's like everybody above the age of 25 stopped making music in the 90's.

As I've gotten older my relationships have only gotten more complicated. Which makes sense because so has life. It used to be so simple in High school I just decided I didn't like that person anymore and it was over. But After that, so many other things come into play once your in the real world and trying to manage a relationship. The issues that come between me and recent significant others have been so complicated. And it makes it so much more difficult to manage the break up. Because in the end I've always believed it would of worked if it wasn't for the complications. Some of these difficult issues, include distance, balancing work/life, families, money, other women etc. They can tear you apart from somebody quickly. Life can come between you and the person you love. And in the aftermath you sit back and have to accept that no matter how much you love somebody, life is a bitch and a jealous one at that. Ol Skool music addresses the complicated crossroads between love and live.

When I listen to music nowadays It's really all about what can you do for me, and if your not doing it for me then why am I with you. Or You did me wrong...whoo whoo whoo....But thats not the true spirit of Love. Love is about two souls trying to create harmony, a harmony which should extend to each of your lives. Ol skool music dove deep into the entire experience of love. Check out this Marvin Gaye (Just to Keep You Satisfied) Verse:

Oh and when we, woo, stopped the hands of time
You set my soul on fire, my one desire
Was to love you and think of you with pride
And keep you satisfied, oh baby oh baby
We could not bear the mental strain
Leave you, I laugh at men too
Now you see how much you hurt me
But if you ever need me, I'll be by your side
Though the many happy times we had
Can never really outweigh the bad
Oh I'll never love nobody like I loved you baby

Marvin talks not only about how he felt but how it effected his soul, his life. The love he had for this woman crept into every fiber of his being and every inch of his life. He was simply unhappy, the love he had was destroying him. Love and life can be complicated like that. The other thing is that Marvin exposes himself in this music. It's the good the bad and the ugly. Nobody's perfect even in love.

Today's music is too perfect. Artist don't really expose themselves, like they did in the ol skool. Because its just a song written by somebody else. The lyrics don't mean what they meant to Marvin. I mean listen to Chris Brown's "she ain't you" or Trey Songz "Holla if ya need me" it sounds pretty, but they ain't bout that life. You can almost hear Marvin crying on Just to keep you Satisfied.

I connect with the maturity and honesty of the ol skool music. Somehow the pain I feel is a less heavy because I know somebody felt it too. All the emotions I can't quite articulate I find in Marvin's lyrics. The raw quality of his music, feels like the rawness of my emotion and I just let all the pain flow through my system with the music.

New school music isn't for the lovers, its for the club and young love, cause that real shit will have you belting at the top of your lungs like Marvin:

"Oh I'll never love nobody like I loved you baby"

Love Letters

I used to write love letters every other day in high school. It's like I had this endless stream of words and metaphors for any girl that inspired me. After my first love It became really hard for me to express myself. I stopped writing poetry. I didn't write love letters either. I actually lost interest in being in touch with that side of myself. But it turns out what I lost in that first relationship was so much larger than love letters.

With my most recent relationship failure I began to wonder how difficult am I to love. Actually it made me think how easy am I to hate. I've become this cynical sarcastic shell of my former self. And for so long I blamed it on heartbreak until there it was very clear I had to blame myself. I've worked so hard to be detached from my emotions, I detach myself from those who love me.

So it's back to love letters. I'm getting back in touch with my ability to love purely and openly. Because despite the pain I felt with my first when it all fell apart. The pain of loving someone and them not believing in your love is much worse.